How to stay awake on third shift: a guide for the weary
Not anymore. I saw you seeing me. Maybe really seeing me, for the first time in years. And I am beautiful. And you are the one who made me beautiful. Every beautiful thing has been through some kind of pain.
But I’m not who I used to be. And I hope you aren’t who you used to be. But I saw you looking with those prying eyes. At first superior, and then surprised.
Because I’m not her anymore.
I’m not desperate for your attention. I’m not begging for your love and acceptance. I’m not who I was. Isn’t it strange how people can change in a year? I think the strange thing is probably if you expect them to be the same.
I’m not her anymore.
I’m alone. And I’m happy. And I’m selfish, for once. I sleep in. I cook only what I want to eat. I watch what I want to watch. I read when I want to read I draw when I feel like it I write what I feel and I am who I am.
I am me.
After it being forever being another me who isn’t me, I am myself. The new me and the old me are together, me.
This is No Name who showed up on my doorstep Friday night when it was freezing. He’s begging for a hot pocket. If anyone is missing a kitty let me know, he is sweet, friendly, quiet, a boy who is intact in the back if you know what I mean. Anyway, since then he has resided in my humble abode and made friends with Finn.
As I look back on my life, on a night I can’t sleep, I realize a few things. I am an idiot. I am inconsiderate. And everything happens for a reason. And if you’re too dumb to see it, it’s your own fault.
Hour 9 of being trapped in the house. I have eaten all of my veggies and boca burgers. FINN IT IS A FAR FAR BETTER THING YOU DO NOW THAN YOU HAVE EVER DONE BEFORE SACRIFICING YOURSELF SO THAT I MAY LIVE!
*** no felines were harmed in this production, any images of situations similar to actual persons are fictional….
Look at this fine powder!
Courtesy picture of me out in the snow. Taking out the trash.
Post cough drops. I need to make some of those vicks shower things someday.
I fill up notebooks every year. Here is one from a couple of years ago.